Creative Science

Posted on February 10, 2006. Filed under: Science |

“Some of the best articles from Science Creative Quarterly by UBC”

A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM

[..Consider a bathroom with one omnipurpose toilet which is used for two toilet operations which we shall designate as #1 and #2. The toilet has an attachment which we shall refer to as the seat which may be in either of two positions which we shall designate as up and down.

Toilet operations are performed by members of the human species who fall into two categories, popularly designated as male and female. For convenience we shall use the name John to refer to the typical male and Marsha to refer to the typical female…]

HEY BABY! I THINK OUR INTERACTION FUNCTIONS WOULD MESH WELL. LET’S DATE

[..Well, you’ll be pleased to know that scientists at the University of Washington have claimed that after watching a couple interact for as little as 30 minutes, they have a 90% chance of predicting whether the relationship will last…]

MOTHER GOOSE AND THE SCIENTIFIC PEER REVIEW PROCESS

[…

Jack and Jill went up the hill.
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown.
And Jill came tumbling after.

First of all, we are not sure there’s enough clarity in this text. Scientific literature, in particular, should leave little room for confusion. Where exactly did Jack fall down? Into the well? A little ways down the hill? All the way down the hill? It’s just too vague. Worst still, we’re not convinced that the science conducted is of high enough caliber. I mean really, who would be stupid enough to put a well on the top of a hill? In conclusion, we feel that this manuscript should be rejected in its current state, but are not opposed to viewing a revised version in the near future..]

WHICH CAME FIRST??

[.. A chicken, by definition, is a bird hatched from a chicken egg. A chicken egg, by definition, is an egg laid by a chicken..]